The Most Dangerous Game

I am awake at 5 a.m. on a Saturday. Everything I have typed already seems crazy; there will be more to come, I assure you.

So I have been reading this book, called Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and her daughter, Jessica Thompson. (Elyse is amazing - go buy all of her books right now!) It's a book that I have only read two chapters of that has already greatly transformed the way I think about parenting.

Here are some thoughts:

• Basically, I am a sinner of the worst kind, and so is my husband, and so are my kids. 
• We all have an equal playing field when it comes to sin and we are no better than each other or anyone else in the world, for that matter. We are all murderers, hating others in our hearts. We are all sexual sinners, lusting after those who are not our spouse. We have broken all ten commandments every single day. Not a second goes by that we keep the law perfectly.

My realization of this morning: 

Teaching our children that they are good when they obey is Pharisaical parenting 

incorporating a soul-damning, anti-gospel. 

Do you get this? Do you understand this? I'm not sure I even understand it to it's full extent. But it is so important, so life-changing in the best and scariest way.

Parents, we need to do things differently. 

When we teach our children that they are good when they obey, when we say they are good, we are liars.

There are none who are good, no, not one.

The conversations in our house this past week have radically changed. 

Alex Jr. asked the other day if he was a good boy. I told him no. My husband told him that he was a bad boy, that we are all bad boys and girls, but that Jesus was a good boy. He was the only good boy. 

Alex Jr. told me he didn't want to share with his brother. I told him I knew he didn't want to share and I don't either, but Jesus shared his life, death & resurrection with us and that should make us want to share with our brothers when we think of everything Jesus shared with us. (And then I made him share.)

Of course, we don't pretend that our children are believers, and we tell them that they need a Savior for their sin. But to teach obedience and law without grace and without Jesus is the most dangerous thing I could think of to teach our children, and I had been doing it without thinking about it, because I am a sinner, and works-based salvation is ingrained in every single living person who has ever walked this earth, and it has damned a lot of them to hell. I was not parenting especially Christian. 

Are you rewarding your children for good behavior? Stop. Our world is filled with enough charts and ladders to climb; we don't need to incorporate the hellish practices in our homes too. 

Our homes and churches should be the two places that are filled with grace, not perfect attendance records, chore rewards, or bring your Bible prizes. 

Motivating our children to obey out of pride and superiority instead of the love of Jesus is the most dangerous game you will ever play with their souls.